Alcohol and sex: here are truly embarrassing couple anecdotes

General Information

From the first date to celebrations of two years of love to microbrewery discoveries while traveling, alcohol consumption is often at the center of a couple’s activities … for better or for worse.

It must be said that when one escapes it, one escapes it sometimes rather strong.

Here are some humiliating anecdotes that intermingle sex and excessive alcohol consumption.

PS – Everything is 100% true, but for obvious reasons, it was allowed to change the names of the bearers of anecdote. We want to preserve their dignity, anyway.


WHEN I WAS INQUIRY – STEVE, AGE 22

After an end-of-session party where the beer was streaming (very big), I went back to a friend’s house. Once in his room, I realized that I could not remember his name. Ha ha. Long live the mnemonic virtues of alcohol! #not 

While the nameless guy was in the bathroom, I searched all the drawers in the office looking for a paper that would show his name. I finally found a lease just in time. His name was Simon!

In the end, we’ve been together for five years.


WHERE THE RED WINE COGNAIT FORT – MÉLISSA, 27

Two years ago, my boyfriend invited me to an Italian restaurant to celebrate my birthday. We ordered gnocchi with oyster mushrooms, pizza with anchovies and a bottle of fancy red wine . We then ordered dessert and another bottle of equally fancy red wine . At the end of the evening, I had red teeth and fell asleep on the table.

My boyfriend had to wake me up to take me home by taxi.

WHEN I AM TROMPED OF DOOR – PAUL, 35

My girlfriend and I decided to treat ourselves to a weekend in a Charlevoix hotel. We had a nice dinner, we got dressed, we drank good wine … In the middle of the night, during the night pee time, I got up in the dark to not not disturb my blonde.

Still affected by Cabernet Sauvignon, I made a mistake and went out of the room. As I was completely naked, I did not have the key on me. So I had to knock on the door of the room until my blonde, who slept hard enough because of Cabernet, come to open the door.

I do not think I need to express how vulnerable I felt during those endless seven minutes.


WHERE BRUNCH WAS DIFFICULT – GABRIELLE, 21

It was one of those party parties where I had to “just go for a drink and come home early”. Unfortunately, I escaped. The next day I had a brunch with my in-laws. I spent the whole morning throwing up in the bathroom between two bites of French toast. Nobody realized anything.

Finally, I hope.


WHERE WE WERE NOT CONTENTS – SAM, 23 YEARS OLD

One night too many pints, I decided that the name of our cat should be Minouche. My blonde thought she should be christened Sylvain. Our divergent points of view led to a rather explosive bickering thanks. It was so beautiful green joke that I had to sleep on the sofa.

I forgot: we do not have a cat.


WHERE I WAS VERY FATIGUATED – TANIA, 30

I lived a difficult break. With the encouragement of my friends, I found a first   post- breakup date  on a certain social network whose name we will not mention. The guy was perfect: tall, blond, nice, funny – short, the dream.

After a first meeting a little too watered, I invited him home. Unfortunately, I had drunk two or three or four vodka cranberries too much and fell asleep while having sex.

The guy never called me back.

 

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